Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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