you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
