So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
