you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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