I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
