Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
