I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
