I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Welp...herpes.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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