Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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