apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
