I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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