porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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