used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
