My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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