T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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