You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
