I just cut my nipple shaving
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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