clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
