I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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