What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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