why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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