respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
