Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Drunk is not a location!
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
