I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
