Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
