That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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