no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
No subtext here. People are naked.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
