at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
