I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
