Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
