I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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