I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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