Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
