You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
