Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
bring money and cleavage
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
