these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
