And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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