Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I seem to have left my pride at pride
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
