So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
