Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
