was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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