How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
