walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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