Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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