We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
