How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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