Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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