Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
