Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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