he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
