i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
