This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
