i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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